The content of FAML 120 has been enlightening and fascinating
as the course has used multiple sources and studies to teach parents how to
coach and love their children while abiding by gospel precepts. FAML 120 has
been a class that really analyzes in depth some of the most important subjects
of being a parent. All of which have fallen under the categories of parenting
with love, teaching about mindset, and responding to challenges with Grit.
Hopefully some of the insights that I have gained will help you in your journey
with parenting.
Knowing how to parent a child in a world full of different
styles and different role models can be challenging and frustrating. Going into
this course I knew that the best way to teach a child was with love which meant
that if they made different mistakes it was okay to respond with brashness and
a spanking if needs be. I quickly realized that this was contrary to what the
leaders in the Lords church have taught. This is also contrary to what some of the
greatest psychologists and leaders of other organizations have taught. This was
a rather humbling experience for me and I wanted to share with you some of the content
that I have learned.
From Doctor Phil, I learned that at times parents would
rather teach based on their own wants and expectations then with love and
respect. I think most times parents would rather teach their children to abide
by concepts that make life more comfortable for them rather than putting the
work it requires to raise a responsible and emotionally stable child. View the
video in the link below and observe what it looks like to parent a child with
too much rigidness and expectations.
This video taught me that it’s better to teach with love
then to have an agenda for your own personal wants, and expectations. I love
this quote from the prophet Joseph F Smith. It reads “Use no lash and no violence,
but argue, or rather reason-approach them with reason, with persuasion and love
unfeigned.” I am grateful to have my perspective changed in this course as I am
about to have my first baby boy.
Above all one of the greatest lessoned learned during this
course was learning to teach my children grit and mindset. Watch the video
below but to for warn you it might expose some of your weaknesses in the way
you raise your children or even in the way you were raised. See below for the
video.
For me I struggle with self-confidence, mindset, and grit.
Looking back on my childhood I realized that the type of environment I grew up
in molded me to be that way. My parents aren’t too blame and they were never
abusive but when raising a child, you need to be very careful in the way you
compliment and praise your children. My parents were raised in very abusive
homes. Their parents were very authoritarian with their kids. There was
physical and emotional abuse. Out of love they did everything they could to do
just the opposite which I am very grateful for. But I think I developed a fixed
mindset because they were always complimenting me and not my processes. Facing
the truth, it made me realize on my mission and during the beginning of college
years that I had an entitled mentality that needed to be corrected and changed.
Challenging times make strong men and strong men make good times. Easy times
make weak entitled men who go and make bad decisions and bad times. Growing up
my parents taught me how to work hard but I wasn’t really prepared for some of
the challenges in life. To be successful in life you need to have grit and a
growth mindset and I was the opposite. For a summer, I went and committed to
door to door sales for a pest control company. I went home early due to frustration
and I labeled myself just “not cut out for the job” but after learning these
principles I realized that I just quit to comfort myself from being
uncomfortable every day. I am grateful that I can turn around and do my very
best to teach these principles to my own children.
My perspective on
parenting has truly changed. The most powerful forms of teaching come from love.
This is true with handling challenges, dealing with emotions, and helping your
children through their mistakes. I learned that it’s very important to respect
your children and to emotionally coach them with love. I want to raise a child
that can have a good mindset and be gritty when hard times come. All of the
lessons in the course beautifully flowed together because all the topics were
interconnected and I am excited to apply it raising my son due this upcoming
December!
